Morning After The Night Before

We've all been there, something seems like a fantastic idea at the time.  The decision to partake is fuelled by a passion for the subject, situation or scenario (or in some cases alcohol and enthusiastic bystanders).  Then the cold light of day hits you and the enormity of what you have done starts to permeate the brain...and so do its friendly bedfellows, panic and nausea.

Now this does not necessarily mean that your decision was ill conceived or foolish, sometime it just means that it is a really big deal to you, and therefore carries a certain amount of expectation.   This was how I felt on the 1st of January 2015.

Once the euphoria and hangover had dwindled (not to mention shock... shock was a pretty big player when I found out I had a place), it suddenly dawned on me what actually having a place at this clinic meant.  My brain started fizzing and came up with this frantic list of thoughts:

1. OMG
2. I have a place...
3. That means I will be riding with Buck...
4. Which means fantastic opportunity and a pretty big deal...
5. What if my horse isn't up to this (thought quickly dismissed)...
6. What if I'M not up to this..(this one got more grey matter time)
7. Yep, I am useless and should not embarrass myself...maybe I'll just spectate
8. Oh crap I forgot about spectators...
9. Right I'm going to hide, eat cake and drink wine.
10. (Glass of wine consumed) Ah it'll be fine, carpe diem and all that...hic

Let's be clear, I am professional horsewoman who loves her job and I love learning everything I can about horses.  I study endlessly and although having had 3 children has sometimes dented the old confidence in the saddle, I have been know at times to be almost competent around a horse or two.  However, there are some situations in life where you feel like an awkward 12 year old girl.  This is one of those... so I did what I do best (no, not drink wine), I gave myself some advice.  This is a once in a lifetime deal, this is the biggest thing I will do in 2015.  The best way I can truly do justice to myself, my horse and to Buck, is to be prepared mentally, physically (stop laughing) and emotionally for this experience.  If for no other reason, so that I can embrace the learning on offer and use it to the benefit of any horse that crosses my path.

At the end of the day, that's why we are all in this gig... for the horse.

I also look forward to meeting like minded souls on this journey, and hope I can support my fellow participants at Aintree.

Oh and getting a cheesy grin picture of me on my pony with Buck that I can impress the grandkids with when I'm old :)

See you on the flip side x