The Old Grey Mare ain't what she used to be....

No, I don't mean Maite...

I read the above book just after the birth of my second child.   It was a no holds barred account of motherhood from a brilliantly frank, funny author, and contained details of all the stuff that happens to you as a person following being a vessel for 9 months.  The stuff that is real, messy, totally life changing and that sometimes leaves you rocking in a corner mumbling. "I can't do this!"  Completely normal, but not necessarily something society peddles or prepares you for.  Equally, becoming a parent can be a fantastic, beautiful, life affirming event, but you can't have the light without some shade.   This book became a lifeline in my times of serious self doubt about my skills, appearance, feelings and if I was generally doing it right.

This is one of the reasons when I came across Buck I was instantly hooked.  His way with horses is real, purposeful and maintains the dignity of the animal.  He does not dress it up to be all fuzzy and perfect, as it often is not.  Horses are large, unpredictable flight animals, but when handled with empathy and with an understanding of their psychology and physiology, everyone can win.

Now I have come across situations with horses while teaching where for one reason or another clients have gotten themselves to a dark place.  Now let me be crystal clear here, by dark I do not mean situations where deliberate, wilful abuse has taken place.  What I am referring to is where through lack of education, understanding or sometimes plain ignorance, the horse and rider feel there is no hope.  Some would argue that this is abuse, and to an extent I'd agree.  I do believe that we have a duty of care to be as educated and open as possible for the good of the horse.  I also believe that most people in this kind of situation are genuinely trying to do right by their animal and have decided the alternative road of submission and force is one they do not want to go down, and have realised a lot of harm can come from good intention.

The biggest challenge I have found is people struggle with having boundaries and discipline with their horses.  Ironically I see this a lot with children too.  Parent doesn't want to be too 'hard' by setting appropriate boundaries, and telling little Johnny no is 'mean'.  What ensues is a tireless negotiation with blurred lines and confused offspring.  Children need consistency and draw comfort from knowing what's what.  No different with our horses.   Some people think keeping him out of your space is 'mean' and not letting him walk up and all over you uninvited is 'hard'.  You can love your horse (and your child) without being walked over.

Yet some never stopped to question the figure of 8 piece of leather strapping their horses mouth shut, the draw reins holding his head down, the constant jabbing with a spur while simultaneously giving him nowhere to go in front, as his bit is cranked so far up his face he looks like the joker....and why not?

Because that's unfortunately accepted.
Your horse dragging you from A to B?  That's normal!  Spins around as you try to mount?  No worries, I've got 5 friends to hold him!

In short my friends, the obstacle is FEAR.

• Fear of being different, of being the odd one out (Livery yards are an interesting social experiment, the Big Brother cameras would have fun on some).
• Fear of having no control once aforementioned garb has been removed from horses face.
• Fear that it means never being able to compete again (as much as I love the natural horsemanship movement, they've got a lot to answer for on this one, yes you can be an educated horse person and have competitive goals...)
• Fear that it means admitting they don't know everything (There's that EGO again).

But just like the horses, with people you can't get them to the point where they fear making a mistake, or knock the curiosity out of them.  So I try my best not to judge and when people approach me interested in what I do, I try my best not to let my enthusiasm get the better of me and jump down their throats :)

This is where I feel Buck's visit and his material will be the instrumental.  It will allow those unfamiliar with the way he works to see that good horsemanship is exactly that... good.  

Simple, effective, and presented to the horse in a way he understands.  

I do think change is afoot.  Never has there been so much opportunity in this country to ride and spectate with some really exceptional horsemen.  There have been so many clinics this year, that if time and money were no object I'd be front and centre at most.   Mark Rashid  & Warwick Schiller have just visited, Martin Black is in the UK at the moment, Dave Stuart will be here in the summer and of course Buck is here for the first time in June.

There is also a wealth of support amongst riders seeking a different path, and willing to push themselves for the good of their horses.  I'm sure I'll make some firm friends at Aintree.

Buck is my one clinic this year, to ride with and learn from him is an amazing opportunity.  I'm not going to lie, I'm scared to death.  I'll be hauling Tuff for 5-6 hours on my own and pushing myself mentally, physically and emotionally at the clinic.   But hey, this old grey mare ain't what she used to be, and will most likely be found at some point in a corner saying, "I can't do this!"  But I will, as this is an exciting time to be a horsewoman.

Viva la revolución! ..... for horses everywhere x

See you on the flip side x