Time to bite the (Nutri) Bullet ... a draft blog from before the 2015 clinic that I have just found, and has made me smile :)

Now spring grass summons a time of joy and worry for horse owners in the UK.  We are concerned with such nasties as laminitis and our horses looking a bit too well in the girth area.  Well, a recent training session had me woefully pondering over my own girth area (expect me to sporting the above at Aintree).

Let me set the scene.  It was a warm sunny day (which means it is not raining and is unbearably humid in England), and I had planned to ride Mr T in the afternoon.  My lovely friend at the yard Julia has recently acquired a new horse on loan, a stalwart older mare named Clara and was keen to get her out on the local trail ride.  I haven't ventured that far with Mr T yet, but he as so good on the ground and we have covered lots of miles walking together over the years, I offered to come with her on foot in the morning in order to give him a good look around and to ensure we could adequately fit through or over any obstacles etc.  So off we set.

It started pleasantly enough, lots to see, squeezing through very narrow gaps due to overgrowth of local vegetation, dog walkers, birds, a lovely cool breeze, 2 chatty friends, relaxed horses, bliss.

Then it hit.  After traipsing through some undulating ground up onto the road to head back, I realised I was walking on a slight, but most unforgiving incline to get home.  Tuff was not bothered, neither was Clara (or Julia), I on the other hand could start to feel a slight burn in my hamstrings....  This quickly was forgotten about when I had more pressing matters to attend to, such as breathing.  There's nothing quite like trotting a horse on foot, on a hill, around blind corners on a road to get the heart pumping.  I went from puce in colour to the most vibrant scarlet.  The colour I imagine I would go if I ever saw 'Magic Mike' in the flesh.   

Why the heck did I come out with no hat and no tack on my blinking horse?  As it was, had it not been breaking the highway code to do so, I was considering flopping my wibbly body over his withers, Bridget's to the sky and hoping for the best.... 

So as I was gulping for air, and knowing we'd be going past my house, I put in an emergency call to the husband (who fortunately was working from home) for two icy glasses of water STAT!  I was also very grateful at this point that my horse walks at the speed I do and is always 'with' me (thanks Buck!).  I use the word speed loosely, imagine more the tempo of a herd of turtles stampeding across a river of peanut butter.... Anyway, after a quick H2O pit stop, and some environmentally friendly garden maintenance by Tuff, we headed for the yard.

I should add at this point we have an unusual amount of JCB/building activity in our village due to some new internet cables being laid.   Now, in my youth (think back to a period just after the dinosaurs, but before the internet came to the masses) I used to attract a few (unwelcome of course) comments from builders, so as we walked past a few having a tea break, I braced myself for some sort of verbal annoyance.  What I hadn't bargained for was this gem...

"Has your lawnmower packed in and that's why you took your horse round to mow the lawn?" 

Shocking I know, that a middle aged woman, purple in the face, sweating, walking a horse, didn't inspire anything else, and don't get me wrong I'm glad it didn't, HOWEVER, the combination of hypnotic jiggly jogging, severe lack of air, and the mundane gardening comments from builders has cemented, the idea at least, to try and eat a bit better and increase my fitness.

I mean I spend a lot of time, thought, energy and indeed wonga, meticulously planning Mr T's well being.  The best diet, tack, massage, chiropractor, top farrier, integrated fitness programme, mental preparation for clinic etc....

My planning for my own physical prep has been as follows..

• Some fairly inconsistently applied physio exercises (sorry Frodo).

• Some warm up stretching prior to riding which consists of me looking like the hippo ballerina from the old yoghurt adverts that used to be on telly.

• Ensuring both hands can smoothly and effortlessly deliver wine and chocolate to my mouth at alternate intervals.  This one I'm good at.

The only time 'core' or 'cardio' are mentioned is when I've mistakenly eaten fruit, or I'm asleep after the wine and my husband is checking I'm still with the land of the living.

So a well known blender has been purchased and I have been frantically throwing a myriad of different coloured fruits and veg in there, in an attempt to feel healthy and virtuous.  Although the kids weren't impressed when it told them I'd liquefied Shrek & Kermit.....

Oh, and I did ride Tuff that afternoon (go me!) however, muscle fatigue had peaked by teatime and I then couldn't move by 730 pm....

Now where is the cake?

See you on the flip side x